Damn.. Feels like ages since i've posted on here.. Just been so absorbed in other things lately, that it hasn't come to my attention to update on here, but nonetheless, Mia is back :)
Laying in bed, looking out of the window with a view of the night got me thinking about stuff.
Alot of things have changed in my life recently, from small things such as completely re-arranging my room around to things such as changes in my overall approach to life and the people around me. It's hard to explain exactly how i feel, because to be honest, it's ever-changing, but all i know is that things are different now.
When i get moments to myself i think about everything and what my priorites were in the past and how i dealt with things. One thing i realised is that i put myself down an awful lot, still do sometimes, be it due to bad experiences or whatever. Years ago i used to be the girl that wouldn't let anything bother her, had that no-nonsense attitude, y'know? Then with time it got pushed below the surface and things changed like everything does, and yeah, it's to be expected. Things change, it's just dealing with it that's sometimes the difficult part to comprehend.
I used to wonder how i went from being so strong and focused to a girl who was constantly unsure of what she wanted in most major aspects of life. I write in past tense as this is no longer the case. Thank God (or Allah if you prefer). Now it's a case of doing what i want, and not letting peoples' opinions affect my decisions, because at the end of the day we all get choices in life, and they're individual. A sheep is not what i want to be, really.
Also, I don't know what the hell's happening to me lately, but i find myself becoming more daring and adventurous with certain things.. I seem to be saying and doing things that i wouldn't have thought to even attempt, and it seems to have positive effects. I now look forwards instead of taking steps back, and laugh instead of sit there in silence.
[Kill your doubt with the coldest of weapons - confidence]
I miss my close friends who are away at uni :( Can't wait to see them soon. The thing that's amazing is that we can go for several months without catching up, then when we do meet up, we're still as close as ever, just with a hell of alot more to talk about! :) Same goes for that special one that makes me smile, and walks in when the world walks out. Not many people have the ability to keep me on the right track, calm me down when i'm mad, or make awesome chicken pasta salad, so thank you for that :) x
Loss of confidence? Lack of Rebellion? Called Growing up. I havent set anything on fire in ages. Welcome! (Oh, and Allah has two L's in it, m'dear).
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